well. today (28/09/04)kinda sux. or should i say it sux big time. yupz.


i had a talk with him. a personal talk. i told him wad i feel. feel abt him. i'm not sure either. but somehow i'm lettin nature take its own course. he teared. but i was like kinda surprised that i didnt drop a single tear. guess that i'm too cold-hearted already man. "._.

i'm like stuck in a whirlpool of confusion. my dream and his dream are totally different poles. i wanna hav like a western wedding and to live with my "future husband" in our own world. he wan to live with his family also in future. even if he's like married.

i'm not like want to b in power or wad ever. but i jus wanna hav peace in future. i dun wanna hav anyone to control me. nor to noe anything abt me. well. i think even now very few of my frens still cares. (well. except jenn and bern. and also jessica-->my wife. u guys rocks!)i dunno who really cares among my surrounding frens.

perhaps it's bcos of da way i was brought up. when ever there's like couples huggin and stuff in public and my mum happens to see that. she'll comment sth like "da gurl darn vain (qiao) like scared no one noes that she got bf like that." i dunno wanna b that gurl. argh. damn tired. think i'm going to bed.

to b continued. . .