Well.. dunno y i sort off lost faith in guys, relationships and mayb even myself.. hmm.. today nothing much happened.. rot at home for the whole freakin day.. hai... now he's in my house givin my sis tuition.. after seein him.. i cannot deny that i have not totally erased him from my thoughts.. i was like wonderin my restricted feelings from other guys mayb bcos of him.. perhaps i'm like longin for him to come back to me after his o'levels.. but i suppose he doesnt hav anymore feelings for me le.. haiz..i've told myself that i shouldnt b living in my past memories but the past kept flashing past my mind.. hai..how m i going to move on foward again.. seriously i dun feel secure with any guys right now.. juz spendin all my free time thinkin of -- nothing.. once again i do hope that my hols would faster end and i would at least get to go to sch and not rot at home again.. =)